Wednesday, 21 August 2013

Team Review: The Goal Diggers

Jonno's side, can he defy the odds and push to the top?

The Goal Diggers; an elaborate mix of skilled Premier League footballers, and a few players from Sunderland. As a ‘Mackem’ I’m allowed to say that, and truth be told I stand no chance of winning this thing because I am too stubborn. No players I don’t like, no players from teams I don’t like, and far too many players from the Red and White Army. 


Pick a team and hope for the best. I read all these comments of people thinking ahead to future GWs and my mind just boggles. I may fiddle if it starts off disastrously, but other than that, I’ll probably just leave them in and complain about how rubbish they are, until I get to my tipping point and axe them all with a Wild-Card mass cull. Truth be told, as an Englishman up against all you Aussies, all I really need to do to win of late is turn up.

Player Review

Mannone– I had Mignolet for ages, but it seems everyone is going for the Belgian stopper who was magnificent for Sunderland last year, so I wanted to be different. I went for a Keeper who can barely catch a ball. But he plays for Sunderland. Seriously though, he’s a decent stopper and I’m hoping the Black Cats can keep a clean-sheet against Fulham GW1.

Davis- A throw-away spot. Frankly I think he’s over-priced at 4.0.

Turner- Cheap as chips, and dangerous from a set-piece. Norwich are much improved this year, and I think he and the rest of the Canaries will have a big year. Hopefully a few clean sheets and some headers from corners from Tina’s nephew.

Will.I.Ams- Fresh off his latest Black-Eyed Peas tour and straight into mine and Swansea’s squad. Powerful and a danger from set-pieces, he’s going to be part of another successful Swansea season.

O’Shea- Another one of Sunderland’s lads. A big risk, given even I spent most of last season screaming at the TV for the club to sell all it’s players. O’Shea though has experience, and a leadership quality I’m hoping will galvanise the new set of players. I’m banking on a clean-sheet at home to Fulham GW1.

Toure- Good experience and part of a much improved Liverpool back-line. At 5.0 I think he’s cheap, and could gain a few shut-outs.

David Luiz- What can you say about a man who has a perm and feigned injury to get Rafael sent off last season? LEGEND! Also, he’s a CD who thinks he’s a midfielder, takes free-kicks and shoots from 50 yards, he’s bound to grab a few goals. With Mourinho back, Chelsea should be even tighter at the back this year.

Hazard- What can you say that hasn't been said already. He wasn't in my original team, but everyone picked him so I don’t want to be missing out on his DGW points. Lets hope he can stop short of kicking ball boys this season.

Coutinho- What a signing he was in January last season. I, and the rest of FPL expect more of the same.

Yaya Toure- I couldn't pick one brother and not the other, that’s just not fair. Plus he’s a tank in a blue shirt.

Wilshere- Not many teams have Little Willy. He’s cheap, and a quality passer who I hope will provide sneaky assist points often. Plus I've heard Arsenal sacked their sexy physio from last year so hopefully he won’t spend as much time on the massage table.

Giaccherini- I was very excited when my team signed this guy from Juventus. He’s a quality Italian international who excelled at the ConFed Cup recently. At 7.0, and in a more attacking Sunderland side he will provide assists and goals. (I hope). Plus nobody else will pick him.

Soldado- One of the best finishers in the business, and will play every game for Spurs because their front-line was dreadful last season. A goal machine. Though may be subbed out if he takes time to adapt.

Bony- Swansea’s forward line now reads Michu Bony, which means something quite rude in Jamaican Creole, but Wilfried is an absolute behemoth. Scored more in Holland than you can shake a stick at, and I’ll even let you choose the stick. Powerful, athletic, fast and with a cannon for a shot, I feel he will take the Premier League by storm. He may warm the bench for me while the Swans tackle Man U, but his value will rocket in a few weeks.

Dzeko- The forgotten man last time out. Pellegrini has said Dzeko will be his main man up top. He’s been in good pre-season form, and at 7.5 mill is a steal for a Man City forward. Also a more in-depth analysis can be found here!

Hope you enjoyed that! Best of luck to all!